It was inevitable that JaMarcus Russell would be busted for something after leaving the NFL ingloriously, with the leg
acy of fail attached to his name.
It was just a matter of what he would be busted for. Would he hit a woman one night after she made fun of how much money he invested in diamond chains and how little he invested in his body? Would he accidentally set fire to a Shoney’s as he indulged in their all-you-can-eat buffet? Or would he be busted for possession, as he would be tragically too large to run away from the authorities after he turned a local Carl’s Jr. bathroom into his hideaway?
It was the last one. JaMarcus Russell has been arrested and charged for possession of a controlled substance after authorities discovered that he had codeine syrup without a prescription. JaMarcus was sippin’ the sizzurp. Authorities discovered this after an undercover narcotics investigation. I would’ve hated to have to search JaMarcus’ house. He undoubtedly has the grossest bachelor pad in history, and trophies from his past glories laying in the fold of his skin. Which is probably where he also keeps his codeine.
As a wise man once said — people go crazy over money my mayne. So we salute you, JaMarcus Russell, for failing on and off the field.
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