Takeru Kobayashi Arrested

By Mark Lorenz on July 5th, 2010

There was chaos at this weekend’s Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest. More chaos than usual. Which I’m sure is USUALLY caused by indigestion and lack of access to portable bathrooms.

First of all, it’s a contest on the Fourth of July to eat hotdogs, rife with people who have mob names. Who eat professionally. There’s no profession that’s more American than winning money and grants for being able to push a ridiculous amount of food down your pipes. If there were possibly a league where you got to sit, clap, and push buttons simultaneously, that MAY be more American than eating contests. But just barely.

Anyway, people were shocked over the weekend as Takeru Kobayashi jumped on the stage to interrupt champion Joey Chesnut’s eating run. In a move that will surely be recreated in movie lore in the future, Kobayashi was carried through the crowd by people who wanted to have him compete, chanting, “Let him eat! Let him eat! Let him eat!”

Unfortunately, he hasn’t signed a contract with Major League Eating, which denied him access to the competition. There is a company called Major League Eating. Which is where I’m sure Major League athletes go after they’re done competing. They retire to a Lay-Z-Boy and keep score at home.

Eerie, mang.