Mafia Wars is a popular game on Facebook where people who are not content with pissing their time away in the setting of social media.
Hollywood is a place where people go who are not content pissing their time away in rural Nebraska, and think that they’re super-pretty. And now the two are going to join forces. That’s right, people who may have good ideas for movies – they’re going to make a Mafia Wars movie. Based off a game that was on Facebook. So between Hasbro deciding that all of their brands needed major film adaptations, barring the fact that Stretch Armstrong and Max Steel will come for you in the night, you can probably look forward to being raped in the eyes for many more years to come. And add that to the Viewmaster movie, the adapatation of the Magic-8-Ball, and pray.
Maybe the world will end in 2012. And not because of any environmental disaster, but because a film critic loses it, steals a nuclear weapon and decides to obliterate everyone who has robbed his life of their hours over the years.
That is how the world will end. Not with fire or ice or in some kind of poetic disaster, but because Gene Shalit will go as batshit as his hair after watching the fourth Hitman sequel.
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