Say it with me now. W.T.F.
Al Gore might not have as much integrity as you think. And if you’re like me, you don’t think he has much to begin with. That he spends his day talking about how to save nature to squirrels and dolphins, that he’s somehow managed to corral and place gingerly in his swimming pool. This is my vision of Al Gore. And allegedly, he doesn’t have enough integrity to stay faithfully married to a woman with the name of a rodeo clown — because he allegedly might’ve sexually assaulted someone on a trip to Portland, Oregon.
Wow. That must’ve been the most exciting thing to happen in Portland — in at least a decade. Although the allegations are just now coming to life, I can’t imagine Al Gore being the kind of person who sexually assaults people. He seems way too benign and…uh…stoned.
Like, how would he do it? Lure you in the room to talk to you about the mating habits of salmon or something similar, do the safety dance, and wait for the panties to drop? And when they don’t, cry like an Indian who saw trash? That’s my Gore fantasy. What’d he do to the woman, allegedly? He groped her, pleaded with her, and tried to force himself on her. So badly that she called him a “sex-crazed poodle”.
You’re welcome. For that image. That will be forever in your head. Sounds like BS, but I wasn’t there when it happened. And I’m thankful, because I’d probably be blind now.
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Comments
Michael
June 25th, 2010 - 1:16:56 AM
This article may win the award for worst-written Manolith article ever. For multiple reasons. From grammar to apparently not having read the complaint you're writing about (trust me, it's worth it, especially when she starts blaming everyone and ratting out masseuses she "thinks" are "turning tricks"). No matter what the truth is, or how you feel about Al Gore, this article could use some editorial oversight.
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