Did you like Seventh Heaven as much as my parents did? I want to punch you in the face. There’s no reason that anybody should’ve watched that show.
I can even remember the theme song. It resonates in my dreams and makes me think of a simpler time, where white people were as far as the eye could see, and no problem was too large for a family of an obscene amount of people to overcome. Also, pastors could support ridiculously large families. Basically, it was a terrible show. But who was on that terrible show? Jeremy London. And who had the most terrible Thursday imaginable? Jeremy London. Where he was kidnapped, robbed, and FORCED TO SMOKE DRUGS AT GUNPOINT. He managed to escape at 3 am, and reported his ordeal to the police officers.
I hate to laugh at kidnappers, and people who’ve been through the ordeal, but what exactly were they expecting from an ex-star of Seventh Heaven? Were they just trolling the streets, looking for someone to take advantage of? And they saw Jeremy London, and were like, “I REMEMBER THAT DUDE FONDLY FROM THE WB. I BET HE HAS MONEY.”
And who forces the people they kidnap to do crack? To make them stay awake and give them super-strength? Way to think it through.
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