Elton John Played Rush Limbaugh’s Wedding??

By Mark Lorenz on June 7th, 2010

Here’s a shocker for some of you: Rush Limbaugh can attract women. Yes, despite being corpulent, virulent, and a waste of space, he gets the ladies.

Here’s another shocker – he got married to his fourth wife over the weekend. And who’d he hire to play at his wedding? Elton John. Elton muthalovin’ John. And Elton John decided to take the one million dollars Rush was offering to play a big gig, run with it, and be the official entertainment. So here is a list of brief ways Elton could sabotage Rush’s wedding. But he didn’t. Because Sir Elton is a nice guy.

Repeatedly Play Songs by Pat Benetar

Pat Benetar is a sort of antithesis to the soundtrack of Rush Limbaugh’s life. Rush Limbaugh is big, blustery, and covered with ooze. Pat Benetar is frilly, epic, and wreaks of 80’s cheese. Together they’d form an unbeatable combination, and one that would conceivably drive Limbaugh insane.

Mistake Rush’s Wedding For Diana’s Funeral

He could play songs that once captivated a nation, with strategic lyric changing. Like, “It seems to me like you lived your life like a fat kid wanting Aunt Debbie’s…”