OH NOEZ. How will I get shirts that are single toned and overpriced? Whatever will I do? Somebody halp me.
Here’s a sample conversation that I imagined would be happening this week.
Mustachioed Wearing Man 1 (In Glasses): Hey man, did you hear that American Apparel is defaulting?
Mustachioed Eye-Glass Wearing Man 2 (In Glasses): It’s what?
M1: It’s defaulting. It means that they’re not doing well, and they might have to cancel their loans.
M2: Did you see those girls in glasses wearing those bags?
M1: Those aren’t bags, those are American Apparel dresses.
M2: They’re like exhales, purple, man.
M1: Yeah.
M2: Who wears purple?
M1: People who shop at American Apparel.
M2: Who shops at American Apparel, then, the Grimace?
M1: No, these are fashionable clothes, that are made in America, and are incredibly profitable.
M2: You told me that they’re defaulting.
M1: Yeah. Bad business decisions and loans.
M2: Did the CEO get tired of having sex with impressionable young models?
M1: Probably.
American Apparel’s shares sank to a 15-month low, but their losses amounted to 17.6 million dollars. Which is an incredible amount of money. AA is now 91.4 million dollars in debt, which is an even larger amount of money.
But to be fair? They’re colored, 20 dollar cotton shirts. It’s a miracle they made that much money to begin with.
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