Cinderella to Come Back – In Disney 3D

Do you like Disney movies? Of course you do. You’re not a heartless monster with no taste in cinema. You’re not some kind of snob who is above turning temporarily infantile for entertainment. But you might still be upset.

Disney is going to start remaking their classics in 3-D. That’s right, two dimensions are not good enough to deal with princesses and midnight changing pumpkins and glass slippers. You need to immerse yourself in the fairy magic, which was ironically printed on the fliers I got at a rave over the weekend.

So what has Disney done? They’ve hired the screenwriter from 27 Dresses to do a reboot of Cinderella. In 3-D. I personally don’t think that we need to reboot the classics, and if we do, we should probably hire someone better than a third-tier writer of crappy romantic comedies. Cause who are you going to get as Cinderella? Katherine Heigl? Kate Hudson? I refuse to believe that they’ll be better equipped and more qualified than the people who provided the voices and story before.

But here’s hoping they make Cinderella into an immersive, terrible romantic comedy, so future generations can remember how misguided some attempts to incorporate 3D have been.

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