You thought that you were getting a respite from network TV’s hellish enfant terrible? You thought the laugh track would go softly into the night? WELL YOU WERE WRONG.
Charlie Sheen is one of Hollywood’s most legendary douchebags. See, while Robert Downey Jr. cleaned himself up and made the kind of progress in his career that most actors would dream of striving for, Charlie just landed himself a part in a three-camera network sitcom. Then did a bunch of drugs, had sex with a bunch of escorts, and threatened his family with a knife during the early hours of Christmas morning.
Which just apparently strengthened his contract negotiations with CBS. His contract was up for renewal, and the overwhelming rumors were that he was going to walk, and the series wouldn’t continue.
But, SURPRISE! Like a boil on the side of humanity, you’ll never be rid of Two and a Half Men. It’ll always be there, hiding when you least expect it. When you come home after a long day at the Spearmint Rhino, dancing for strangers, Two and a Half Men will be there to nestle its head between your breasts. Two and a Half Men and will sing you to sleep. Just touch it. Slowly.
No word on what Charlie Sheen’s salary is, but it’s obscene, I’m sure.
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