WELL, HELLLLLO, PROPER CAREER PROGRESSION. Lindsay Lohan’s camp has just announced that she will be playing porn starlet Linda Lovelace in an upcoming Deepthroat biopic.
I love how they’ve stopped essentially making biopics of incredibly compelling figures, and are now going with people who had penises forced down their throat in the 70’s. You know, people other than the Village People. And how it’s probably not much of a stretch for Lindsay Lohan to portray someone who makes terrible career decisions and gets naked because she’s forced to by older, richer white men.
Granted, I thought Lindsay Lohan’s next film appearance would be in a porno movie. But not one that had the regular conceits of plot, a budget, and you know, a script. More like something called, “The Redhead And El Caballo – A Love Story” Some people say this could be Lindsay’s comeback role, playing someone that people have given up on, someone down on their luck and knee-deep in hard times – but Lindsay is not Mickey Rourke. And she’ll probably show her titty.
Hopefully this’ll be one of those artsy films that nobody sees, except to glimpse the titties of the star of Herbie : Fully Loaded. Or at least one you can do shots to.
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Whatever. Lindsay is beautiful and she’s just trying to enjoy her life a privilege. Most of us would be partying if we had her life. I don’t know much about her movies, so I can say nothing of her acting, but so what.