What would be the perfect companion to the days that you fill by going to the gym, frying your skin in a booth, and doing your laundry? The Jersey Shore soundtrack.
Even though I think every song on Jersey Shore could make a killer mash-up with Bon Jovi and every song that they’ve every played on the show is just a placeholder for The Scorpion’s “Rock You Like A Hurricane,” MTV had the good sense to help promote the new season of Jersey Shore, coming July 29th, with the soundtrack to the show, available July 20th. The soundtrack will include Akon, LMFAO, Taio Cruz, and Enrique Iglesias.
We can only hope this’ll lead to other licensing opportunities. Jersey Shore lunchboxes. Jersey Shore tanning beds. Jersey Shore condoms. Jersey Shore whatever-the-hell-you-call-those-things that JWOWW puts over her thighs. Or a punchable Snooki face that you could attach to a punching bag at the gym or at your local fitness facility.
The new season is currently being shot in Miami, and as much as I could appreciate the first season – there’s no reason for these people to be turned into celebrities in the long term. If we have to endure many more years of borderline retarded peeps from Jersey talking about how awesome they are and how they’re like the Beatles, then I will kidnap Jon Bon Jovi and offer him up as a sacrifice.