Jesus Christ, if the National Enquirer gets this story right, it’s no wonder that Tiger Woods is golfing completely terribly. He has a hellfire in his groin.
Rumors are that Tiger Woods had to draft an entire list of all the people he had infidelities with whilst in sex rehab, and that list topped off at 120 people. Which, to be fair, is a lot of affairs to hide from your married wife. It’s no wonder that came around to bite him in the ass. If your phone is filled with more than sixty women whose names end in an upwards vowel sound, chances are that your man is cheating on you.
Anyway, Tiger had to present the list to his wife, and he omitted an entry – their neighbor’s daughter, who he screwed while his neighbor was away. She, understandably, became enraged, and the divorce is pretty much 100% on at this point.
In addition to the final fruition of his marital woes, Tiger missed the cut at Quail Hollow. Not by a little, but by eight shots. So that time he said he was going to take away to practice his golf game? It looks like he’s going to have to take it.
He’d still kick my ass, though. At golf.
