Have you ever wandered through the halls of Bed Bath & Beyond and realized that you could probably live there?
Lord knows I have. That it wouldn’t be bad. You could use their waffle makers, sleep in their shower curtains, and then vacuum the lint off yourself. It’s like the hobo Olympics. That situation was apparently a reality for a Roseville, Michigan teen who was smart enough to get off the streets — and then get into some comfortable linens.
The boy had run away from home on April 18th, and we can only assume how many hours he spent playing with the vacuums in the store. If he has a brain in any way similar to mine, it had to have been at least more than 48. The boy was discovered when employees came to open the store early, and found him sleeping under a riser.
If I was hiding out in a Bed Bath & Beyond, I would probably get the nicest sheets, lie down in their giant beds, and rub my genitals on every robe that was within arms reach. Despite running away, this person has showed incredible restraint. And for this, he should be applauded. Extensively applauded.
Police are seeing if they can charge him with trespassing.