Do you like dogs? Do you like drinking? Then you should probably be my friend. Also, buy products that encourage your dog to drink or look like he’s drinking. It’s not like you’re that much of a terrible role-model, your dog won’t remember it tomorrow.
We’re all suckers for cute pictures of animals. Cats with cheeseburgers, cats with things on their heads, cats who are surprised, and the Broadway musical Cats. All of which, everyone likes. Not a single person hates cats, unless they don’t like aloof things. But we can do you one better – here at Manolith, we like dogs that are intoxicated. Not really terribly intoxicated, just wonderfully drunk enough to do things like fall asleep whilst running, or try to make love to the cat. Which is why we fully support buying a brandy barrel and attaching it to your dog, no matter the size of the breed. Which is what companies are allowing people to do now. Attaching booze holders to dogs.
That sounds like the last-ditch effort of a desperate, dog-loving alcoholic (read: Mickey Rourke a few years back), but it’s actually adorable. And it’s a fallacy that people kept brandy containers on St. Bernard’s to rescue people who were trapped and needed warmth. But you should keep one on your dog.
You can get one at Kegworks, you alcoholic.
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