I’ve seen a lot–and I’ve heard it all. And yet, my brow is furrowed.
Have you heard about the Tennessee family who adopted a child from Russia and sent him back? The adoptive mother and grandmother thought he had some “psychological problems.” No doubt, he did. So they bought him a one way ticket, put him on a plane, attached a note of explanation…and literally shipped him back to Mother-Russia. The kid was 7. Seven. Yeah. It happened last week.
According to the boy’s adoptive grandmother, Nancy Hansen, of Shelbyville, TN: “He drew a picture of our house burning down, and he’ll tell anybody that he’s going to burn our house down with us in it…it got to be where you feared for your safety. It was terrible.”
(So hide the matches, genius! Is he the Fire Starter? Johnny Storm? He’s SEVEN!!)
Sorry, Nancy. That is terrible: A grade-schooler with an overactive imagination, very little understanding of family, the English language, the American way of life and worst of the worsts–he was possessing rogue crayons. Here’s something else that’s terrible. Growing up in an orphanage, not really understanding what a family is, only to be pawned off on what is apparently the most screwed up family in the United States of America!
Russia is pissed. Rightly so. They’re considering the cut-off of all foreign adoptions. Now, everyone is pissed off! Can we not see anything but extremes in 2010? Is anyone so naive to think that a seven year-old from a Russian orphanage isn’t going to a have an ocean of emotional issues? Regardless of what you hear from an adoption agency!?
My brow is furrowed.
(Image via: 100 Musical Footsteps)
Unfortunately, my brow is furrowed as well…, but for a different reason!
You see, my wife and I adopted a 9 1/2 year old who is the product of neglect and abuse. In the first year of being with us he destroyed half our house, gave me cuts and bruises on most of my body (I’m 6’3″ and 300 lbs) and went so far as pulling a butcher knife on my wife (she’s a police officer!)
While I in no way condone or agree with how this woman handled her situation – I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE HER HEART AND MIND WERE WHEN SHE DID IT!
The true shame in all of this is that there was not a system in place to help her deal with these difficulties. Clinically, it is called Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) and is more common than we want to admit. We were blessed in finding a therapy center in North Carolina called The Beatitude House that helped us for over a year and a half to learn parenting techniques and tools, as well as helping our son deal with the emotional and psychological issues.
Of course the real victim in this is the boy because this has just reaffirmed his understanding of “abandoned” and he will have an even harder time if and when he is put into another home.
I pray that everyone involved will find forgiveness and guidance in their lives and that RAD will come more into the open and be able to be identified and treated.
Peace!