I just checked out this article on Ivanka Trump’s stalker. I gotta say, it got me thinking about a very serious trend. Stalkers always seem to have the craziest mugshots. There are some things that stalkers just can’t keep themselves from doing when they are posing for pictures in front of a police camera that the rest of us, when we get arrested, seem to know better than. First off, they almost always seem to have long wispy stalker hair. It never looks good in a mugshot for your hair to stand straight out to the left and right, and it’s actually fairly difficult to pull off, but stalkers seem to be unable to help themselves.
Second, they always seem to have just enough forehead acne for it to be creepy. There’s nothing wrong with a little acne, but stalkers seem to almost intentionally grow it in a place where it sheds an eerie shadow over their eyes to add to their strangeness. It’s almost like they cultivate acne on the part of their forehead that makes them seem the most like they spend their time sweating feverishly and writing in tiny, creepy letters in their journals.
Finally, stalkers seem incapable of realizing they should open their eyes all the way when someone takes their picture. Nothing guarantees you are going to look terrifying more than staring emotionlessly with your eyes all the way open in a picture. You might as just declare yourself guilty right then and there, because as soon as a jury sees that picture they’re going to say, “Why can’t he seem to keep his eyes closed at a reasonable level? Cased closed.”
(image via Oliverwillis.com)
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