Ford Invents Most Annoying Key Ever

If there’s anything more annoying than parents imposing arbitrary limits on people younger than them, I don’t know  it. And we can now thank Ford for inventing the most annoying key for cars — in history.

Ford has bounced back from being nearly bankrupt to regaining it’s place as one of the world’s largest car manufacturers. With that power comes great responsibility, and they’ve invented a key for the tech generation to make sure that responsibility is forcibly imposed on them — the MyKey. What a name, eh? The MyKey does things like allow you to program settings on your car, like top speed and maximum radio volume and all those other good things — which means parents will inevitably use it to screw with their children. And not in a good way. If I was the owner of a MyKey, I’d set every speed limit to be 20 miles an hour and the volume to be insanely loud– so everyone who passed my kid would think they were a psychotic old man listening to Ludacris far too loudly.

The MyKey was announced in 2009 and will start appearing in models this year, and will force me to propose we put a moratorium on putting My, E, or I before any kind of word just so we make it sound technological. iMserious.

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