Dear Lord, They’ve Invented Hangover-Free Booze

By Mark Lorenz on April 5th, 2010

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Guess where this was invented. Just guess. Because I bet you can. Give up? ASIA. Coming through once again for us non-booze handling mortals. This technology will revolutionize everything you thought you remembered about drinking, but were too drunk to remember.

I really should want science to cure cancer or something, but with the inventions of hangover-free booze, dick pills, and titties that feel like rainbows, I feel like they’re trying to send us a personal message. One that’s confusing, but entirely based on us embracing our vices as a population. So we need to do that. We need to have booze-filled, hangover-free nights. And now we can, thanks to Korean scientists.

They’ve figured out that when you oxygenate booze, you sober up quicker, and it prevents you from having hangovers the next day. So instead of filling their booze bottles with other, cheaper booze to water it down, they’re going to fill it with oxygen so your head doesn’t hurt the next day when you’re trying to chew your own arm off. The Korean-based Sunyang Company is going to take advantage of the situation, selling oxygenated soju called 02 Lin. And I for one, cannot wait to import it and get violently drunk.

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