Old Spice, you’re firing on all cylinders lately. It all started with the use of Bruce Campbell as your spokesperson, and it’s snowballed. Most recently, the “I’m on a horse” spot made me love you guys, I won’t deny it. It’s the kind of love a man may have only once in his life, and then must move on. But I’m happy we had that time together; it will always be special.
But now, look what has supplanted you, O Horse Man! Oh, sure, they may not be legitimate Old Spice commercials, but that hardly matters. The fact is, unless Old Spice actively moves against these commercials — produced, by the way, by Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim — then people will probably start looking for these products on store shelves, and write angry letters demanding to know why they can’t find them. This will force Old Spice to actually create Odor Blockers, which will lead to a whole weird kettle o’ fish.
Just imagine what this could mean! If you, sir or madam, have always wanted a unicorn horn sharpener, but have been stymied by the non-existence of said device, well frown no more! All you have to do is create a successful viral video, name-drop a prominent manufacturer, and voila! Your unicorn will revel in the awesome new sharpening tool that you have made manifest through sheer force of will! Who knew that all it took was a decent production budget and a powerfully-built black guy? And ladies, I hear he’s single … and he smells fantastic.