Lindsay Lohan Is Broke – Jobs Lindsay Lohan Could Do

By Mark Lorenz on April 2nd, 2010

This is not news. This is inevitability. This is a star descending completely, and we’re going to be able to watch it. A Corey Feldman for our times.

Lindsay Lohan hasn’t legitimately worked in four years or more, and her last gig, a stint on ABC’s Ugly Betty, ended in tragedy when she was kicked off of the set for being a prima-donna. She spends her money like it’s going to kill her in the night, and parties constantly. Also, she’s on drugs. Drugs mean no studio insurance, which means nobody will hire her, which means that she’s going broke. How broke? She hasn’t paid her rent in two months. So soon she will be resorting to other jobs. Jobs like suing people who mention the name Lindsay. Here’s what else she could possibly do.

Naked Housekeeper

Currently, my house is very messy. And I don’t have a whole lot of money to shell out for someone to clean it. So they would understandably have to be naked. It makes perfect sense.

Celebrity Rehab Housemate

The cast of Celebrity Rehab is kinda sparse on celebrities. They should probably call it, “That Guy Rehab”, or “People You Kinda Recognize Rehab”. Not only would a stint on Celebrity Rehab benefit Lindsay and get her back in the public eye, it’d make the show that much more entertaining.

Crazy Old Lady

Well, let’s be realistic. At the way she’s going, she’ll look like an old woman in about two years. So if you’re going to look that way, at least regale us with stories about seeing Benny Goodman live and making shells.