Ricky Martin Comes Out

By Mark Lorenz on March 29th, 2010

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What? Are you serious? Ricky Martin is gay? You gotta be kidding me. The original Latin zest shaking his hips and singing about Bon-Bons? Oh, come on.

Well, it’s about goddamn time. Ricky Martin, the object of many people’s rampant sexual desires during the mid-nineties has decided to level the playing field to about half. He’s come out in a pretty epic letter. Just wondering, was there anybody in the US that was completely disappointed at this announcement? Somebody holding onto a sliver of hope — somewhere outside of Idaho — that Ricky Martin would come in on a white horse and liberate them from their rural ennui?

If so, I’m sorry that your dreams were crushed. You should’ve expected it. The man would shake his hips at the most unnecessary times. Like you’d tell him your family died, and Ricky Martin would shake your hips at you. Or that you had cancer, and Ricky Martin would shake his hips at you. For a while, he was even the state bird of Puerto Rico.

You can read the entire statement on his website, which seems like it’s awesomely cathartic, but the message is pretty much distilled at the end.

I am proud to say that I am a fortunate homosexual man. I am very blessed to be who I am.

Good for you, Ricky.