The scariest part of this story? It was reported by Fox News. Fox News is like a vacation spot for surgically enhanced female news anchors. So they must be running screaming through the halls.
Terrorists continue to get craftier and craftier. They think of innumerable ways to infiltrate the US, blow up buildings, and steal your infants in the night. You remember that humming sound that plays in your room from 2-4 am? It’s probably not your roommate’s heater, it’s probably a terrorist slowly exhaling for two hours. Isn’t that frightening? You should probably load up on guns. What’s more, not only can they activate bombs with cellphones, remote detonators, and sometimes their minds….they can now do it with boobs. According to a report on Fox, British spies have uncovered dastardly Al Qaeda doctors who are willing to insert explosive devices into willing suicide bomber’s boobs.
Okay, a few things. Firstly, even on the source, it says, “Terrorists Could Use Explosives in Breast Implants to Crash Planes, Experts Warn.” COULD use. Terrorists could also strap dildos to their heads that fired lasers powerful enough to destroy the world. The word could is a huge qualifier. Also, who’s to say the suicide bombers have to be women to have bomb breast implants? They could be really kinky Al Qaeda operatives.
So the next time you’re sitting on a plane next to a large middle-eastern man licking what looks to be his own breast enlargements….be afraid. For more than the obvious reasons.
(Source)
Comments
Chris
March 29th, 2010 - 2:47:00 PM
I'd hate to break the news to you all but there have been first hand cases of female terrorists who had blown themselves up. Although rare, it does happen. Does anyone watch the news?
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