Tired of being on the bus, minding your own business, only to have a gigantic baby waddle onto the bus and plop itself down right next to you? Tired of going to your favorite restaurant, ordering dessert, learning that they are out of dessert, and turning to see a pack of overweight babies at the table next to you have eaten all the damn desserts? You are not alone.
According to new evidence more than 1 in 10 babies from age 0 to 5 in the United States are now overweight. Apparently bad habits start as early as the womb when it comes to weight. Mothers who are overweight are more likely to pass on the history of being overweight to their children, and women who smoke while they are pregnant are more likely to have overweight children, but they are also much likelier to have “cooler” children, so it’s sort of a trade off.
Then once a baby is out of the womb or “sin hole” as Jerry Falwell calls it, having it watch two or more hours of television will make it far likelier to be overweight. Other bad ideas include giving it soda in its juice bottle, having it take long baths in saturated fat to make it look glossier, and wiping rich chocolate cake on its lips while it sleeps.
The United States is one of the most overweight nations on the planet, probably because we have so much stuff we’ve run out of space to put it other than inside ourselves, but change starts in the womb, so ladies, if you want skinny babies, follow the helpful advice provided by the Institute of Medicine. In the meanwhile, I’m trying to get a law passed that every time you see a family buying a stack of ribs at a Denny’s for a baby, you as a citizen are legally allowed to tazer them.
(Photo Via: Hamed J)
