Google is working with Intel and Sony to bring themselves to your television. They are attempting to create a TiVo like device that links your internet to your TV, among tons of other TV and internet synergistic features. Google doesn’t just want to be your search engine, it wants to be the machine through which you reach your search engine, the channels on the machine, the warm soft body that rocks you to sleep at night, the food you eat, and the air you breathe. Google is no longer a mere software developer. In fact, insiders suspect that the next Google merger is going to be with Skynet. Skynet and Google will merge to bring Skynet systems online. First the fighter planes will turn around and attack their masters, then the factories will build robots with an epidermal exoskeleton. For shorthand they will call them “Googlenators“, and only one plucky young man with a stereotypically 90′s haircut will be able to save us all.
In addition to the elimination of the human species, “Googlenators” will come with other cool features, such as pause and rewind, so you can watch your favorite shows without commercial interruption, “Fave Five!”, Google “Wave”, and endlessly customizable email. Other fun “Googlenator” stuff will be added shortly thereafter including the ability to snap-load a shotgun, the ability to disguise itself as a coffee machine and then kill you, and an easy to use “maps” feature.