While I want to respect the sanctity of marriages, and I feel it’s wrong to celebrate when one dissolves, the GREATEST ACTRESS OF OUR TIME (as voted on by the Academy) is now single! This calls for the action of popping champagne like we won a championship game.
Kate Winslet is impossibly talented. Literally, impossibly talented. You can try to be as talented as Kate Winslet, but she’ll beat you down with her sensitive portrayals of people ranging from Nazis to spoiled rich girls to suburban moms who wind up dying terribly. She is also very attractive. And up until a few days ago, she was linked to another insanely talented figurehead in show business, Sam Mendes, known for directing Jarhead, American Beauty, and Revolutionary Road. They are now splitting up.
Which is sad, but still not as sad as Revolutionary Road. Did anyone actually see that movie? Did anyone get up and go, “I want to watch a marriage slowly dissolve, so I can feel things on my insides?” If you did, congratulations, you have a steel stomach, and are probably from a James Cameron movie. The fact that Sam Mendes made so many movies dealing with ennui in married relationships makes me wonder if Sam Mendes filmed his marriage dissolving. And if we can look forward to a release date.
But Kate Winslet is single. And it was an amicable split. So gentlemen, start your engines.
