Rabbits are adorable, and when they go to the bathroom they excrete tiny little edible pellets that make great stocking stuffers at Christmas. Even the things rabbits generally love to do — nuzzle each other, hop around all day and ghost write all of Miley Cyrus‘ lyrics — are all adorable. Pocket, Butterbean, Custard, Hoppity, Flopsy, it is a scientifically-tested truth that rabbits are so cuddly that it is impossible to name them something uncute. I had a rabbit for a pet that I tried to name “Shitbreak” for two weeks, but because it was so adorable I eventually had to settle on “Mr. Puddles,” which no one, myself included, was happy about. It takes a lot for a rabbit not to be cute. But every now and again Hollywood pulls it off. Here below are a few of the more memorable examples of the least-adorable rabbits that have ever been featured in a movie.
1. The Donnie Darko Rabbit
The Donnie Darko rabbit from the future with the bleeding eyes was originally supposed to be played by a California Jackrabbit, but when PETA stepped in and told producers of the film they weren’t allowed to scream at a rabbit to try to get it to cry tears of blood, they decided they would go with special makeup effects instead. Little Known Fun Fact: So as to to prepare for the role James Duval, the actor who portrayed “Frank” the rabbit, actually spent six months prior to the movie living alone with a pack of wild hairs in the Arizona desert. He was found a month before the shoot began, passed out in a bush muttering the words, “So hard to be a rabbit… so hard…” under his breath, and subsequently taken back to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center to be treated for chronic malnutrition.
2. The Evil Cartoon Rabbit From “Twilight Zone: The Movie”
This rabbit was simply not good looking. Try as you might to find some redeeming physical attribute on the rabbit, it is simply an infeasible task. In order to get the perfect combination of unattractiveness and repulsiveness, the special effects team that worked on the film built a complicated computer program that could simulate what it would look like if you stuck Anjelica Huston in a microwave, pulled out whatever was left of her, and then stuck bunny ears on that.
(Image via deeperintomovies)
3. The Dead Easter Bunny From “Critters 2″
As the old saying goes, “A rabbit is always less cute if inside of it is a dead and bleeding police officer.” The rabbit in this movie is no exception to that common, age-old saying.
(Image via Missivesfrommarx)
4. Jessica Rabbit
I hear you. Jessica Rabbit is actually very physically attractive and should not be on this list. But we here at Manolith don’t just look at the surface of a person, and Jessica Rabbit is ugly on the inside. We know this because she is very distant with her husband Roger Rabbit, she is callous and unfriendly with strangers, and she worked with the CIA to plan the brutal assassination of Salvador Allende in 1973 which plunged Chile into a decades long spiral of dictatorship and violence.
5. Harvey Keitel
Harvey Keitel is not generally known for his rabbit upbringing, but in fact, his mother was an Irish immigrant and his father was a long-haired dwarf rabbit. That is why Harvey Keitel twitches his nose when he’s scared, and crawls into a large hole he has dug in the earth with his bare hands when there is a fox nearby.
Comments
kyle
March 14th, 2010 - 5:52:01 AM
hilarious!
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