Marion Jones, five-time medal winner at the 2000 Summer Olympics, has signed a contract to play basketball in the Women’s National Basketball Association for the Tulsa Shock. Jones, you may or may not remember, was stripped of those medals and jailed for six months for admitting that she had been using performance enhancers during her Olympic races.
That’s all apparently behind her now, she’s getting a fresh start with a new professional sport, her coaches are thrilled to have her, blah blah blah. To me, here’s the best bit: “She passed a lie detector test administered by an FBI agent confirming that she was not drug-enhanced.” An agent of the Federal Bureau of Investigation, one must presume to be trained in all aspects of administering the polygraph test, was fooled by track and field superstar Marion Jones. The effin’ Bee Eye couldn’t see through her, and she’s not even a suspected terrorist. See, I knew that thing was complete crap. Why do they still use it? What kills me is that even after all of that, she went ahead and confessed anyway. The hell?
What does this mean for her future in the WNBA? Honestly, probably nothing. She’s on the straight and narrow now, living cleanly and honestly, and that’s great. But 2000 was 10 years ago, yo. What’s she been doing since? Why is this a story otherwise? Marion Jones, I salute you. I hope your new career treats you well, and that you avoid slipping back into bad waters. BUT! If you should feel the need to tell us more scandalous things, I’m always available.