There’s a lot of eye candy on TV these days, and there has been for a couple of decades — that’s nothing new. Maybe we’re just a bunch of desensitized pervs, but the real allure on television has always been the same as in real life; we want what we can’t have. TV moms, whether in sitcoms or dramas, have always been a major point of sexual angst among the male viewership for this very reason. These are the top 15 of TV’s sexiest moms that we’d like to see strip — some of them have shown a bit more skin than others, but they all had the same effect.
Sheila – Rescue Me
Rescue Me is a gritty show full of both the hilarious and heart-breaking. The characters are written well and the story line — or lack thereof — allows for season after season of shenanigans-laced drama that really hasn’t been seen before. A huge part of the show is the women, or to be more specific, its beautiful women. There are hot girls all over the place in this one, but a major favorite is Sheila Keefe. She’s crazy, but she’s sexy as hell.
Lorelei Gilmore – Gilmore Girls
The Gilmore Girls was a show that men generally shunned for the fact that it’s largely meant for the female audience, but that didn’t stop an amazing number of dudes from closing the blinds and enjoying it on the down-low. These days, it’s Alexis Bledel that’s getting all the attention (now that she’s not only firmly of age, but played a hooker in Sin City), but we want to call attention to Lauren Graham’s character, Lorelai. She was flirty, fun, fit, and throughout most of the series — single. The most we ever got to see was the occasional nightie, but we wanted more.
Julie Cooper – The O.C.
Julie Cooper of The O.C. was a veritable harlot, to be sure, but she was a lovable harlot and well, let’s face it, they’re the best kind of harlot. Not only was she the neighborhood floozy, but she was drop-dead gorgeous in a Jessica Rabbit sort of way, and even had a written-in history with acting in a porno. That’s our kind of TV mom.
Morticia Addams – The Addams Family
If you watched The Addams Family when you were a kid and didn’t think Morticia was ridiculously hot, then something is just wrong with you. Or maybe you were just too young to recognize the difference between men and women, but that’s pretty damned young. Morticia was goth before goth was goth, and she made it look seriously hot — too bad it couldn’t stay that way.
Samantha Stephens – Bewitched
There were two similar magical hotties once upon a time; one was a witch (Samantha the witch) and one was a genie (Jeannie the genie). I Dream of Genie offered a smoking hot Barbara Eden, but sadly she was never a mother during the airing of the original show, so she never reached MILF status. Bewitched, on the other hand, gave us both the cute magical girl, and made her a mother. The temptation became unbearable by the time the show ended its run.
Kellita Smith – The Bernie Mac Show
Kellita Smith played the role of Wanda, better known as Baby on The Bernie Mac Show. The show was a huge hit, undoubtedly due to Bernie Mac carrying the load, but having a wife as smoking hot as Kellita didn’t exactly hurt, either. With a body like hers, the idea of her having spat out kids would have been tough to swallow, but luckily the plot didn’t call for her having any of her own since she had their hands full enough with the ones she inherited from Bernie’s deadbeat sister.
Rita Morgan – Dexter
Normalcy is a big theme in Dexter, since the premise of the show is a man leading two lives; one of absolute, sinister secrecy, and one of the stereotypical suburban husband and father. He’s lucky as hell in that his “normal” life includes a severely hot wife, played by Julie Benz. Adding to her allure in the show, her character, Rita, didn’t just start off as Dexter’s wife, but was first married to a douchebag whom she eventually left for him. That sort of true-to-life character back-story makes her seem so much more attainable.
Lois Griffin – Family Guy
Lois Griffin may well be the sexiest cartoon TV mom in the history of primetime television. She’s not perfect, in fact she’s a wreck, she’s cheated, she’s left Peter, she’s been addicted to speed, she even slept with multiple celebrities. She’s meant to be the worst and the best of the quintessential American housewife, all rolled into one sexy, demure, witty package — complete with the nasally voice.
Betty Draper – Mad Men
There’s just something about pent up Betty Draper that gets a guy’s attention and keeps it. Even after all the drama between her and Don, even after she cheats on him, even with all her emotional baggage, she’s still got that perfect housewife feel that just seems so vintage today. Her part-time modeling aspirations, though failed, didn’t hurt, either.
Carol Brady – The Brady Bunch
So we never got to see much of Carol Brady in terms of raw skin, big deal. We all knew that she was a minx in bed, and though they kept it pretty calm on camera, she was always so damned flirty with Mike. Every guy wanted to have her coo in his ear, just once.
Jane Jetson – The Jetsons
Jane Jetson was the quintessential 60’s housewife transplanted into 2062 — as imagined by the people of 1962. She was fit, beautiful, vain, prim, proper and motherly; all the things that make a guy all warm and fuzzy inside. She also emptied George’s wallet every chance she got, which made her hyper-realistic.
Gabby Solis – Desperate Housewives
Desperate Housewives may not be known for attracting hordes of male viewers, but for the few who do venture into the world of Wisteria Lane, there’s a lot more than just your average primetime soap opera. On top of drama and comedy, there’s a hefty amount of sex and eye candy. Gabby Solis, played by none other than Eva Longoria, provides for a heavy amount of that eye candy, and we love her for it.
Nancy Botwin – Weeds
A suburban housewife turned drug dealer, Nancy Botwin is about as adorable as her life is dysfunctional. Played by Mary-Louise Parker, Nancy is drop-dead gorgeous in a funky, cutesy way that’s normally reserved for the love interest in an indie movie. She’s beautiful, resourceful, and hey, it’s Weeds, so her closet is full of the good stuff.
Laura Petrie – The Dick Van Dyke Show
Giving many men their first crush, Laura Petrie — played by Mary Tyler Moore at her absolute hottest — was a housewife who used to dance at USO shows entertaining the troops. We’re talking hot, 60’s hot, and she was a sweetheart too.
Donna Stone – The Donna Reed Show
They don’t get much more wholesome than Donna Stone of The Donna Reed Show. The part was played by, of course, Donna Reed, who underneath all that 50’s housewife aponry was smoking hot. Unfortunately, we never got to see that on the show, since she was the absolute perfect late-50’s housewife. She did, however, inspire decades worth of daydreams for countless men who had great imaginations.
Comments
Dave
March 10th, 2010 - 8:47:51 AM
If you are going to have Julie from the OC on your list it's absolutely insane not to include the main mother figure on the show, Kirsten Cohen. Kirsten was a perfect wife and mom as well as the richest woman in town. And she had a figure so tight you were sure that the boy living in her pool house was interesting in being her boytoy rather than adopted son.
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