You’ve never wanted to read anything like this, but you’re going to.
I just wanted to write this story because of my undying affection for Mickey Rourke after seeing The Wrestler. Apparently, he gets bizzay. And he wants you to know about it.
Ashley Cole is a huge soccer star across the pond, notable not for his soccer skills, but for being the UK’s equivalent of Tiger Woods. He’s now a media darling being trailed by tabloids – who, no doubt like the US — make all sorts of ball puns. Like, Ashley sinks his balls into the net of another woman. Ashley can’t keep his balls away from slags. Ashley should get a penalty the way he can’t keep out of the boxes. BAM. Hire me, Daily Mirror.
So Mickey Rourke figured that, being the grandfatherly hellraiser he is, he should tell stories of his own encounters with people in the United Kingdom. Including sleeping with 15 different women in one night. Sleeping with 15 women in one night. Tiger Wood’s entire back nine in one night. That’s incredible.
Imagine knowing that you were one of 15 women that Mickey Rourke slept with in one night, and suddenly finding out about that.
If you were wooed by a man with a melted face one night, you want to get tested. Right now.
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