Kim Kardashian Launches New Perfume Line—And Poses

By Mark Lorenz on March 1st, 2010

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Kim Kardashian took time out of her busy schedule of fame-whoring this week, to release a perfume. Which is good. If you’re really into perfume launches, which chances are, you aren’t.

But you’re into T&A, right?

First off, I have no idea what Kim Kardashian is famous for. She’s the scion of wealthy individuals, one of the millions of them that are on the planet. She’s like Paris Hilton, only she’s not as easy to make fun of. Therefore Kim Kardashian is less fun than Paris Hilton. Wrap your head around that. She’s the star of Keeping Up With The Kardashians, a show that draws E!’s highest ratings, but the again E! is a network based entirely off of fellating celebrities.

And finally, celebrity perfume is something that’s always mystified me. It’s celebrity-sponsored perfume. You’re not going to wind up smelling like the celebrity. Which is the only reason why I’d buy celebrity perfume instead of normal, work-a-day perfumes. If Britney Spears’ Curious actually smelled like Britney Spears — like the sweat of her handlers and cigarettes — then I’d buy it, do doubt.

But does Kim Kardashian’s fragrance smell like Kim Kardashian? With a description of a voluptuous scent? How can a scent be voluptuous? Does it make you larger??

I don’t get it. Buy your lady some perfume.