I know you’ve all been gritting your teeth and rubbing your hands, searching for some sort of permanence in the world. Let me offer you a little bit of it.
Dancing With The Stars, the smash hit for ABC — where has-beens and people you kinda recognize from that one place — is coming back to rock your primetime heads off. If you are geriatric or easily excited. The rest of us will be watching Showtime and getting our rocks off. And there’s been some rumored casting decisions that have been whispered about in sewing and bingo circles for the last few months, and let me say with absolute certainty – I have no idea who’s going to be on the show.
But a few people have been announced. People who can barely qualify as stars. People who, if they are actually stars, then I’m a 16th century French musketeer. Named Ronaldo. Who likes to tweak his handlebar mustache and chase petticoats. Are you ready for this?? The announced ones are…
Kate Gosselin…
Pamela Anderson…
Shannon Doherty…
…and Chad Ochocinco.
That’s right, just when you thought you’d freed your television sets of Kate Gosselin and Pamela Anderson, they’re back again to haunt you. You brought this on yourself, America.
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