Well, this isn’t surprising. In the least. It is mildly disappointing, but you can’t say it’s at all surprising.
Because Hollywood is a dried-up old husssssaaay, they have announced a live-action/CGI remake of Speedy Gonzalez. This is according to the Hollywood Reporter, the dried up hussssaaaay of trade papers circulating around Hollywood. And being that there are creative geniuses in charge of this whole process, who make informed decisions that are not in the least completely derivative, guess who they’ve cast in the lead role?
George Lopez.
You know what this is? This is like dangling a giant carrot in front of the Latino population to try to get them to go to a half-assed movie. A gigantic dangling taco. But wait, there’s more. Speedy will no longer pander to the white people as a half-assed lazy stereotypical running mouse who smokes pot and takes jobs from hard-working American mice.
“Speedy’s going to be a misunderstood boy who comes from a family that works in a very meticulous setting, and he’s a little too fast for what they do.”
You hear that? We thought Speedy Gonzalez out. We spent some time developing this character that we’re clearly just trying to cash in on.
Hecho In Hollywood.


















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