Ginny and her boyfriend are not nearly as disgusting as other couples. She’s been dating Kevin for several months now, and I’ve had multiple occasions to see them interact. At no point do they ever devolve into ridiculous displays of affection or baby talk or googly eyes.
Yes, I just made up “googly eyes.” It sounds funny, I am here to entertain!
Ginny and Kevin, they keep it respectable in public. I’m sure they have pet names for each other, have the most insidious pillow talk and spend long periods of time just gazing into each other’s eyes. But that’s all private. Because they know how annoying it can be in public.
There should be a word for it, actually. The opposite of schaedfraude, that is the misery someone gets when they see other people being happy. Wait, that’s envy, right? Fine. Well, there should be a German word for it then. Germans, well, they can describe stuff wonderfully.
I see people being happy like that, that teeth-achingly sweet kind of happy where they are visibly in love and the rest of the world disappears, and I’m extremely annoyed. I look at them and my mind begins to concoct reasons they aren’t really happy. Or perhaps I look at them, judge them, think of them as only happy because they’re ignorant, or unattractive, or deluded about what love means. My mind works its hardest coming up with reasons I shouldn’t feel envious, which, I’m pretty sure, is really just a highly convoluted type of envy.
I was running, nice early morning jog, and I saw two couples laughing to themselves as they walked down the street. Now this is about six in the morning, and it was obvious from their outfits (all gussied up) that they were coming home from a night out, that they’d had themselves a fine night.
First thoughts that ran through my head were those of trying to come up with reasons they were wrong. Reasons they were being irresponsible, or ignorant. As I’ve started recognizing this within myself, I’ve tried to stop it when I recognize I’m doing it. And that particular morning, I did stop it.
I don’t know if it’s competition, or trying to take others down a peg to make myself feel better, but it’s clearly envy, and it’s something I’m tired of. So I put it here.
Wait a second, has this column become my Vision Board? EXPERIENCE LESS ENVY.
And so, I’m happy for Ginny and her man. But I cannot be held responsible for my actions if they were to start sucking face in front of me. Be warned!