The other day, walking through the Beverly Center, I noticed a tiny little Shih Tzu wearing a big expensive Gucci doggy fur coat. And I thought, it’s absolutely ridiculous the sorts of things that people will buy for their dogs. Enter the pet speakers.
It sounds like a group of motivational speakers you’d hire to speak to kindergarteners, but I guarantee you, my friends, the dog speakers are real. They’re real, and expensive. Real expensive. Say you like listening to music, but you also own pets. Say those pets still are able to hear noises, as they should be able to if they’re healthy. Say those pets hate music, despite my parent’s insistence on playing Kenny G for our dog, because pets hear at higher frequencies. And those higher frequencies damage your precious dog’s ears. Poor, poor doggy. What you need is brand new pair of My Pet Speakers by Pet Acoustics. These names are like the aural equivalent of a Tyler Perry Movie. Pet Acoustics presents Pet Speakers, presents, PET. The musical.
Anyway, the Pet Speakers are omnidirectional, produce limited frequencies, and have a soft bass feature, so your pet can listen to your music in peace. Also, so you don’t pick-up the signs that aliens are about to land and make contact.
My Pet Speakers will set you back 250 bucks. But it’s worth it, for your cat’s goddamn smug expression.
(Photo via: PetAcoustics)
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