The 15 Best Conspiracy Theories Ever

By James Melzer on February 18th, 2010

• Link to StumbleUpon
• 10 Comments

The world is full of whack jobs. In fact, many of them work right here, at Manolith. As crazy as we are though, nothing beats the theories that make up some of the world’s best conspiracies. From lizard people to JFK to fake moon landings, here are the best of the best that the crazy folks who reside on the internet and in basements around the world would have you believe. In no particular order.

1. JFK Assassination

C’mon, do you really think Lee Harvey Oswald worked all by himself on this one? Back and to the left. Back and to the left. There’s no way Oswald was proficient enough to make the kind of shots they claimed he did with that rifle. No, Kennedy was eliminated by the CIA because he gave away Cuba and wanted to do the same with Vietnam, then started a wave of firings after the Bay of Pigs, which included CIA director Allen Dulles, who was on the Warren Commission. That’s the general consensus, anyway.

2. Hollow Earth

Somewhere deep below us lives a race of beings knows as Agarthians, a race first discovered by Admiral Byrd in 1947 after an expedition to the North Pole. It is said that there are only two openings to the hollow earth, one at the North pole and one at the South pole, and that the U.S. Navy knows of both, but are keeping the information Top Secret. It should also be noted that Byrd was an employee of the Navy when he made two flights into the hollow earth. I wonder if there’s a Dunkin’ Donuts down there?

3.  9/11

Was September 11, 2001 a false flag operation designed to get the U.S. into Iraq? According to many, yes. There’s just too many contradictions when it comes to the ‘evidence’ that 9/11 was carried out solely by a group of terrorists that could barely fly single engine Cessna planes, let alone passenger jets. No remains discovered at the Pentagon or in Pennsylvania, and no black boxes were ever discovered either. How about the reports of bombs going off below the Twin Towers? Building 7 was reported as collapsing by the BBC when clearly it was still standing right behind one of their reporters. What gives, Uncle Sam?

4. The Bilderberg Group

(Image via endevil)

If every single NFL owner met behind closed doors for a weekend and then emerged, refusing to talk about what was discussed, the media would have a field day. Yet, when 120 of the world’s most powerful individuals meet in secret every year, no one says a word. Not only are they breaking the law by defying the Logan Act, but it has been said the group chooses presidents, starts and ends wars, and is in control of the world’s economy, media and government. New World Order? You tell me.

5. Fake Moon Landing

NASA didn’t really go to the moon, based on this theory. Nope, during the height of the space race they lost the first battle to the Russians so they decided to fake a moon landing to appease the American people. Misplaced cross-hairs in photographs, missing transcripts and blueprints from the Apollo mission, misplaced shadows, the absence of stars, and wind blowing the U.S. flag around make up this one, but there is no wind in space, people. Some believe we’ve never been to the moon, and with the cuts Obama just made, it doesn’t look like we’ll be going there anytime soon either.

6. Shape-shifting Lizards Run the World

(Image via urantiunsojourn.com)

At least, according to onetime BBC sports reporter David Icke and his band of followers, they do. Everyone from George W. Bush and the British Royals are really a race of alien beings who came here long ago to colonize the planet. Now they hold some of the highest positions in government, and are controlling everything you do and see in the media. Don’t believe it? Fine, you go offer the former president a plate of flies and see what happens.

7. Free Energy

There’s no way that all we need are oil and gas to run the world. There have been many forms of free energy around for decades, but the corporations that rule oil and gas are snuffing them out, for fear of lost profits. Nikola Tesla was probably the first known victim of this massive cover up. When he discovered it was possible to provide free energy to the world at little cost to the consumer, he was whacked by the FBI.

8. Roswell

On July 8, 1947, a UFO crashed in Rosewell, New Mexico, and ever since then the government has been denying it ever happened. By rewriting documents and airbrushing photographs, the Army and NASA has made most believe aliens don’t even exist. Of course, we all know that’s not true, and that there are E.T.s out there. Some have even landed on earth. Area 51, anyone?

9. The Philadelphia Experiment

In 1943 the U.S. Navy conducted an experiment on the USS Eldridge at the Philadelphia Naval Shipyard, to see if they could render the massive structure invisible. What they ended up doing was tearing a hole in space and time, sending some members of the crew into the future. When the ship rematerialized, there were people stuck in solid steel that could not be freed, and had to be killed. Of course, the Navy denies the experiment ever took place. Surprise, surprise.

10. U.S. Military Caused Indian Ocean Tsunami

Using electromagnetic pulse waves from HAARP, the U.S. government were actually the one’s who caused all the death and destruction brought on by the tsunami. Whether it was in the interest of oil and gas, or just a test to see what effects it would have on the earth — which did include a shift in the North Pole, a change in the rotation of the planet and even a change in the earth’s shape. They’ll never admit to it, of course, but many theorists are looking to Haiti now and wondering what the purpose of that test was.

11. Manufactured Diseases

Everything from AIDS and cancer, to H1N1 and the common cold are under the gun with this one. It’s said the government manufactures these things, then charges the pharmaceutical companies to come up with treatment drugs for them, thus making people a whole lot of money off the suffering of others. Yes, there is a cure for cancer. They just don’t want you to have it because it would cost them too much money.

12. Chemtrails

You know those long trails you see behind jets in the sky? What do you think those are? I’ll tell you: weather modifiers. Yup, the U.S. government has been deep in weather modification for decades, trying to control the earth’s weather in order to further its interests. Just look at Hurricane Katrina. You really think that was a natural disaster? Please, it was an experiment gone wrong on U.S. soil. That’s the theory at least, and they’re sticking to it.

13. Protocols of the Elders of Zion

This book, which surfaced in Russia in 1905, is said to be a map for a small group of Jews to target Christians’ morality, finances and health, in a way that would give them the “in” to world domination. Although it has been purported to be a hoax, the book is still in print today. It was even used by the Nazi’s as an excuse to start their genocide of an entire race of people. Who says you can’t learn anything from books?

14. Princess Diana Murdered

She didn’t die in a car accident. Okay, she did, but it was actually from a hit placed on her by the British Royal Family so that she couldn’t marry a Muslim, or have the child she was carrying in her belly. Yeah, that’s right. She was pregnant. Why would they do this? Because they’re nuts.

15. Global Warming Hoax

The earth’s climate is like a rubber band, stretching and stretching until POP! it snaps back into place. That’s the real reason the world is heating up, and it has nothing to do with Al Gore-made theories. We’re going to have another ice age, believe it or not. Just when and how is up to the earth, not man, to decide. Many corporations and especially the government, are making big bucks off the global warming hoax, and it doesn’t look like it’s going away anytime soon. At least not until 2012, anyway.

NOTE: For the record, I subscribe to some, not all of these theories. Even I don’t think lizard people rule the world — yet.