Kevin Smith Won’t Shut Up

By Mark Lorenz on February 18th, 2010

This really isn’t news to anyone, but more of a rant I’m about to go on. Come along with me.

Kevin Smith is the notable indie filmmaker that started his career with a bang, directing Clerks, Mallrats, and Chasing Amy. He later went on to direct Dogma, Jersey Girl, Jay And Silent Bob Strike Back, Clerks II, and Zack And Miri Make A Porno. (Noticing a difference?) He is also notable for being a raconteur and a really, really fat man. So fat that he was recently ejected from a Southwest flight for being too fat to fly. He then tweeted about the incident around 4 dozen times, and made YouTube videos decrying Southwest Airlines.

My question is this: why not just lose weight?

You’ve got millions of dollars, a high-profile showbiz career where you have to be photographed hundreds of times, and enough excess energy to go on Twitter and weep about the world and its injustices. You just made a buddy cup movie riddled with cliches. You could probably drag your ass to the gym and lose weight. In fact, you could probably install a gym in your bathroom and hire someone to help you lose weight in between doing press tours and telephoning out on your golden toilet phone.

Don’t bitch about Southwest Airlines treating you poorly, you’re a fat dude on an airplane. That’s one step underneath a crying baby. Everyone knows Southwest Airlines is like climbing into a hovel with wings.