Barry Melrose. The man is like a fine wine. He is the reason so many thought they could pull off the mullet. I have been self-convinced for years that The Dos Equis XX “Most Interesting Man in the World” is partly based off of Canada’s greatest hockey analyst, and for viewers of ESPN’s First Take, Barry Melrose once again backed up my strong intuition.
Led into a typical First Take banter about middle-age skincare by Jay Crawford, Melrose was as candid as always. He started by rambling about early middle age, and 50 being the new 70 or something that didn’t make a whole bunch of sense — then it happened. Not once, but twice! I’m surprised he didn’t line himself up for the hat trick, but two blatant FCC violations in less than three seconds is really freakin’ impressive.
Ultimately, the man let us behind the curtain. Barry Melrose uses “chicken sh-t” as part of his skincare regimen. And apparently, all Canadians do!? I have heard of this before, but never believed it until today. More than a few Canadians like to use all kinds of weird stuff: Eh? Aboot? Sorey? But poop on their faces? Jay Crawford continued to roll like a pro, while Dana Jacobson, wide-eyed and mouth gaping, began planning the on-air apology. Me? I’m on my way to the nearest chicken farm. I’m only in my 30s, but there’s no time like the present to reverse the signs of aging.
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