If you needed another reason to avoid the world’s crappiest airline, American Airlines has just announced plans to begin charging coach passengers (yep, you and me) eight bucks for an in-flight blanket. Before you get too upset, and drop a WTH or WTF, you should know that this will only occur if the flight time is scheduled to take two hours or more. Anything less–NO BLANKETS AT ALL!!
45 minutes? NO BLANKET! 1 hour 59 minutes? NO BLANKET! The mind boggles.
“I understand you didn’t sleep last night, sir, and it’s cold enough on this plane for you to cut through the windows with your nipples, but you’re just gonna have to toughen up, or pay up. Maybe you’ll find some warmth from the ‘Islands Getaway’ feature in our American Way in-flight magazine–you can take that with you as a complimentary service.”
I wish I could have been in on this one, if only to sit in on the meeting and hear all of the blanket variables, cost prospects, above the line, below the line arguments and ultimately the ideas on how American Airlines could more politely ask their customers to bend over. First the space, then the bags, now the blankets. I think all signs are pointing toward the new trend in flying: the Snuggie! Comfortable, quickly removable for pat downs and strip searches–save you eight bucks on a blanket–and you’ll look like clergy or a Star Wars Imperial Guard.
Until airplane Snuggies catch on though, I don’t think there is any question as to how we coach flying, second class citizens must respond to this eight dollar outrage: use the eight dollars on Jack Daniels instead of a blanket to provide the core warmth. Tear out several pages of American Way Magazine. Splice those pages together with chewing gum, and build a complimentary blanket. Then curl up in our six inch by six inch cube of space, and smile, knowing we stuck it to the man.
(Image via: Snuggie)
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