The schlocky romantic comedy “Valentine’s Day” currently holds a 12% rating on RottenTomatoes.com. Which is about as surprising as ordering Dominoes pizza and ending up moderately disappointed. The movie features a stellar cast of very talented actors who somehow couldn’t make a heavy handed PG-13 romantic comedy built around an artificial holiday any good whatsoever. Bwah?! Wha?! If anyone is surprised by the lack of quality inherent in the movie “Valentine’s Day” it should probably be illegal for them to be President. In fact, the shittiness of “Valentine’s Day” is so unsurprising, that even after we here at Manolith.com spent a few hours wracking our brains to find anything–anything–less surprising, we were only able to come up with the following short-list:
1. Finding sand on your kitchen floor the next morning after spending the day at the beach.
2. Jennifer Love-Hewitt not winning an Academy Award.
3. Having a stomach ache after eating at Wendy’s.
4. Sarah Palin misspelling the word “Palin.”
5. Going to the bathroom at a girl you just met’s apartment who owns cats and finding out that it smells heavily of cat.
6. Limp Bizkit being left out of the Rock N’ Roll Hall of Fame.
7. Pat Robertson saying something that upsets everyone.
8. Wes Anderson owning an unusual jacket.
9. Peter Jackson making a movie with an ending that goes on too long.
10. The bald guy with the tear-drop tattoo who always wears the same black shirt that says “FUCK” on it that works at the liquor store by my house having a short temper.