Sarah Palin recently got caught with crib notes written on her hand during a speech she gave at a Tea Party convention. “Energy”, “Budget Cuts”, and “Lift American Spirits” were some of the things she had written on her hand to remind herself what to say during the speech. Unfortunately for Sarah, she had written her shopping list on her other hand, and when she looked down during a nervous moment in the middle of her speech, she looked down at the wrong hand and ended up going on at length about needing to pick up Kraft singles, trash bags, and low-fat frozen yogurt before her husband got home.
When the Tea Party attendants got confused and started asking her why she was talking about all the food she planned on buying later instead of health care or the economy she didn’t know how to reply, and nervously looked down at the other side of her other hand, where she had written her own name and the names of all her children.
After forty-five minutes of Sarah Palin reading and repeating her children’s names the town hall mostly cleared out. But the flustered Mrs. Palin didn’t notice that everyone had left until they had already cleared out the hall and turned off the lights. With the doors locked, Sarah Palin went into survival mode, turning some hair pins she had with her and her glasses into a makeshift trap to catch food, and burning her clothes and hair to keep warm until she could figure out how to escape. The janitor found her the next morning nude and bald next to the burnt out remains of a campfire, clutching a makeshift trap with a half-eaten rat in it.
The Palin family was grateful for her safe return, and Mrs. Palin herself has called the experience, “Just another indication of that good ol’ undying American can-do spirit.”
Sarah Palin is expected to make another speech next week in Tulsa, Arizona, provided that she can figure out how to get from her hotel to the airport. Which she cannot.
Comments
Armchair Firebrand
February 8th, 2010 - 6:29:28 PM
Palin’s political perspective or, to employ her populist parlance, presumably “that fear-y, status quo thingy,” seems to be working out just fine, at least for her. This self-centered strategy has proven extremely effective in the short-term, upping Ms. Palin’s media profile while lining her pockets at the same time. However, appealing to people’s irrational fear of change generally brings out the worst in them (a fact demonstrated by the many misguided and offensive slogans spouted at tea party events last summer). And assuring voters that we can continue consuming resources at or above our current rate is as reckless as it is dishonest. To use a tired metaphor, at a time when Americans must get leaner, Palin is scoring political points by telling us we can eat ice cream every night for dinner and never gain weight or run out of milk. Read more @ http://armchairfirebrand.wordpress.com/
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whiteniggersagainsttheworld.com
February 10th, 2010 - 3:38:24 PM
You Niggers got a the worst White Nigger Bitch to make fun of someone using a teleprompter. What a challenge you stupid american niggers are giving president's these days. All of you are niggers, especially that white monkey nigger Bush, who could barely read a teleprompter much less comprehend his own writing on his hand.
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Sedgewitz
March 7th, 2010 - 5:32:39 PM
Sweet mother of fuck: how is it possible that this ignoramus Palin actually was picked as a VP candidate. It's almost more incomprehensible than 8 years of the brainless, smirking, former cokehead, fuck face Bush.
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