I was certain that my satirical post blaming Canada for the Toyota recall would be taken in an easy stride. Yet here I am, pissing off a few Canucks. You should know, I would never blame Canada for something that should be blamed solely on the Japanese. In truth, I love Canada. I do. I’ve never actually been, but I can tell from the exports alone, as well as some stellar, Canadian friends, that I would love it there. Especially Regina.
Along those lines, I’ve compiled a quick list of the Top 5 Canadian offerings that have subsequently made the world a better place, and my own personal life more enjoyable!
5. Molson
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I don’t drink in bulk. In fact, I consider beer a food, as opposed to a beverage. I also consider it to be its own food group. It’s something I prefer to enjoy, not to use as poison. While living in New York City, I developed a respectful relationship with the red, white and blue of Molson Canadian. Something about the maple leaf on the bottle cap hypnotized me, and the taste was clean, crisp and full, leaving me to state, “Yeah. Now that’s what I thought Canada would taste like.”
4. The Canadian Brass
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Some people love video games, I love brass ensembles. What can I say, a youth spent appreciating and playing music leads to certain inevitabilities. While The Canadian Brass repertoire is quite impressive, their dynamic musical chops are only rivaled by a keen sense of humor.
3. John Candy
I miss this guy like mad. As a kid, who didn’t want an Uncle Buck? Gone too soon, but thankful for every moment he offered to the silver screen.
2. Maple Syrup
We’re talking the real deal — not that fake dextrose, sugar, water maple-flavoring crap. Canadian maple syrup works on anything and everything: Pancakes, waffles, bacon, Canadian bacon (honorable mention), grits, oats or even by the spoonful. Once you’ve had the real stuff it’s always a disappointment to ingest the imitation crap at IHOP.
1. Rachel McAdams
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What does one honestly need to say about Canada’s greatest living icon? (Is that a bit much?) Before I’m accused of being juvenile, know that I’m teased enough by a wife who says, “There’s your girl…” every time McAdams appears on the screen. She’s got some acting chops, is environmentally conscience and, yes, I suppose in the right light, she’s somewhat pleasing to look at.
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