The once mighty Toyota company has been stumbling against the ropes this year after having to recall and re-outfit much of their fleet. Accusations of withholding important safety information abound, and the company that has made itself the hallmark of quality car crafting looks like it is going to be have to do some serious work to repair it’s image. The most famous issue with Toyota cars these days is the accelerator sticking problem that forced them to recall eight different car models. But there have been many more problematic issues that led to recall several more models that got less attention, here are just a few of them.
1. Poorly product tested Gaydar
The 2010 Toyota Prius had to be recalled because Toyota put out the model without properly testing the built in Gaydar. “The Gaydar was supposed to go out in the 2011 models, but [some] executives were so excited that we rushed it. Now we’re seeing the results of that.”
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The Gaydar was built in as part of the on-board display system, and supposed to accurately detect and point out homosexuals that got in the car.
“We hoped it would lead to humorous conversations, and help homosexuals who were worried about coming out to their families take that next brave step. But the Gaydar as it exists is faulty and often points out non-homosexuals as homosexuals. This has led to much strife for Prius owners, and in Texas, some deaths.”
2. Scorpions in the airbags
The Japanese Fur Scorpion is the softest scorpion in the world. Toyota hoped to leapfrog air bag technology by packing their airbags fit to bursting with the exceptionally soft and non-lethal scorpion, making their air bags the most comfortable yet. In a tragic twist of fate, there was a mix-up at the scorpion factory, and millions of hyper-lethal Argentinian Blood Scorpion were shipped to Toyota instead. Customers who got into accidents were horrified as their air bag released, and hundreds of deadly, terrified scorpions tore through the lining of the air bags stinging and biting in a frenzy of high-velocity of horror.
3. Jeremy Piven
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Toyota, in the hopes of expanding their reach in the American market, decided that they would include Jeremy Piven with every one of their 2009 Model Camrys. As usual the Japanese had a close-but-no-cigar understanding of American culture. Families who bought the Camry were horrified to see Piven in their passenger seat, but kept the cars because of the low sticker price. Piven was especially frustrating for moms with children, as Piven’s tendency to wear open throat silk shirts, do coke off of the dashboards, and hit on them by reminding them that he “knows Ridley Scott” was perceived as not being “child appropriate”.
4. Mislabeled Seppuku button
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Taking your own life with a sword is a big part of Japanese culture. Many Japanese cars come equipped with a Seppuku button, for convenience, so if you dishonor the CEO of your corporation while driving you can at your leisure press a button and have a sword cut you open from throat to stomach. Generally companies remove this feature for American markets, but Toyota had a double whammy problem last year when they accidentally left a Seppuku suicide button in their 09′ Tacoma and through lazy product testing accidentally mislabeled the button as “Rear Windshield Wiper”. After hundreds of customers driving in the rain were disemboweled, the o9′ Tacoma was recalled.
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