Miley Cyrus’ Sister Launching Lingerie Line For Kids

By Mark Lorenz on February 4th, 2010

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Everybody say it with me now. WHAT. THE. F*CK?

Holy God, I thought Miley Cyrus was unfortunate looking, but clearly, this is a familial problem. The Cyruses (Cyrii? What’s the plural? Who cares?) are a family bred by showbiz to specifically fight discrimination for people who look like farm animals. And they’re doing a great job. People/Farm Animal acceptance has come a long way since Hannah Montana came on the air. Now it’s almost commonplace to see Disney touting their latest horse-faced girl for all the children to go gaga over. And the Cyrii have never been one to back down from a money-making venture, even if it involves dressing their nine-year old in lingerie.

That’s right, a kids lingerie line. I know you’ve been to Victoria’s Secret and Fredrick’s of Hollwood and been like, you know what’s missing from THIS place? A kid’s line. Also, ou’ve been really concerned that the children you keep in your basement have been making too much noise and may possibly alert the police to your happenings.

So Noah Cyrus, 9, and Emily Reaves, 8, are going to be the faces of a brand that touts itself as being, “trendy, sweet, yet edgy”. Also, reaaaaalllly goddamn creepy.

The line has “Versatile styles that can be worn with sweet ballerina slippers, funky sneakers or paired with lace stockings and boots for more of a rock and roll look.”

I don’t know if the Cyrii are just extra retarded because their mom was a rock groupie, but seriously. Let kids be kids.