“It’s funny when it happens to Elmer Fudd, but less so when it happens to me while I am riding my motorcycle,” I would have said, were I this man. But were I this man, I would also have said it in Indonesian, and been Indonesian, therefore I would not know who Elmer Fudd was, yet I still would have referenced Fudd, causing a rift in the nature of reality that only Laurence Fishburne and Sam Neil working together could mend.
The man received full medical coverage for the incident, and $535. Which is just enough for the man to purchase a Playstation 3 and three games. $535 is also slightly less than one hundred dollars per exploded tooth, which means that according to the settlement each of his teeth were about equal in worth to a pair of Reeboks, a night out at Red Lobster with three friends, or a copy of Amazing Spiderman #105.
To be fair though, in Indonesia $535 will get you an eight-bedroom house, an all-gold autographed statue of Kobe Bryant, and an Eastern European slave.
According to the BBC, after having several of his teeth shatter in a cigarette related explosion, “Mr Susanto said he would try to give up smoking now anyway,” causing Nicorette board members to say, “Hey, maybe that’s a great idea for a new….no. No. That’s not a great idea.”