“Driver” was a Playstation game many, many, many eons ago when nobody gave a shit about blogs or anything else for that matter other than themselves. It was a glorious time. Jon and Kate had no plus eights, fat and ugly people had their own television shows, and dinosaurs roamed the Earth. “Driver” came out a little before the Grand Theft Auto boom, and it shows. It’s a simple game where you drive from one point to the other very fast and try not to get hunted down by the cops. Sound familiar? Are you reading this from your cousins living room that is also his front yard that is also his garage? I digress.
Driver was a fun game back in the day and this is a gods-honest port to the iPhone, albiet with new music, which we’ll get to in a little bit. I thought that I’d be transported right back to enjoying the game, but the controls make this extremely difficult if you’ve got anywhere even close to having big hands. What’s more, the music is bland and generic and makes it all the more obvious that they’re trying to get the GTA crowd to come back around. While the original GTA had its issues, at least it wasn’t as mind-numbingly difficult as this — the first five missions alone are terribly hard to get a hang of especially if you have sausage fingers like myself. The graphics remain the same. Also: the game needs about a gig of free space to run smoothly, so if you’re stuck with an original 3G iPhone like myself you’ll have to get rid of a LOT just to have this run. It’s a great attempt, but sadly gets lost in the confusing gameplay and basic storyline.