Let the bidding start.
Awww, yeah. This is how I know there’s a divine higher power. He always hears my deepest, darkest fantasies and guides them, following them through to fruition. There are naked pictures of Jersey Shore’s Snooki.
Again, for those of you out of the loop, Jersey Shore is the show that’s taken MTV by storm. It scores well across all demographics, everybody loves it, and Italian groups complain about it. Wait, isn’t complaining an Italian stereotype? Or is that Jewish? I really want the Italian groups who hate Jersey Shore to start threatening people with violence, thereby creating a weird meta-stereotype loop that will repeat itself until the world, without warning, explodes. The cast is a bunch of loveable twenty-something fuck-ups, who in any other environment would be selling shirts on the boardwalk for the rest of eternity. But because of MTV, they have fleeting stardom. One of the most notorious in the group? Snooki. She sucks the juice out of pickles, and is like 4’9” and orange. Like an Oompa-Loompa, but with poofier black hair.
Anyway, in addition to being the first women on reality TV to be decked square in the face, Snooki also has naked pictures being circulated around her. This would be a scandal, but come on. It’s Snooki. From Jersey Shore. She’s probably tanned so much that her nipples look like the moon during a solar eclipse. Dear Lord. I need to shower.