Rest Your Weary CD On Kisses

By Mark Lorenz on February 2nd, 2010

Have you ever wanted to have a stylish CD holder? Of course you have. Because you’re not lame. You’re not one of these squares who still has a CD tower full of CDs you will barely use. So come with me into the future.

Snack foods and computers, either programming them or playing them, go together like Elvis and pancakes with pork chops and whipped cream made of bacon. They go together like painful childhoods and strippers. Like other things that obviously go together. So it’s great that some super-scientist decided to make tiny hardened Hershey’s Kisses to hold the CDs that you’re constantly using. For me, that would be the Mamas and the Papa’s Greatest Hits. Holding Mama Cass to a tiny hardened Hershey’s Kiss? That sounds like an evolved version of a personal hell.

Anyway, this brings me to the point that I’ve been trying to make for years. People aren’t making enough tech goodies that can also be used to prank fat people. A tiny hardened Hershey Kiss? That’s a chipped tooth and painful digestion waiting to happen. This is just the beginning. I see electrified chocolate USB holders next. And that is a future I welcome with open arms.