PETA Wants To Ruin Groundhog Day

By Mark Lorenz on February 1st, 2010

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I don’t even think PETA is a real organization. I think it’s a troupe of sketch comedians trying to say the most insane things they can to get press, who will eventually parlay their efforts into a movie.

They can’t be real people. Really, they can’t.

PETA always amazes me. Not only do they go off the wall, amping the crazy you’ve come to expect from hippie NFP organizations, they go the extra mile and decide to release their statements to the press. Presumably so they can become more high profile, but they just wind up sounding like people in tinfoil hats who somehow got a hold of the media’s contact information so they can yell about practices they don’t like and restaurant specials they wished they’d eaten but somehow passed up.

What’s PETA being crazy about now? Groundhog Day. They apparently think it’s weird to film a groundhog coming out of a hole. What haven’t they commented on? Porno. It may be weird to watch a groundhog coming out of a hole, but I haven’t heard word one about forcing one into one. Apparently, PETA thinks that’s perfectly acceptable.

So what do they want? They want to replace the groundhog with a robot groundhog. Personally, I find it twice as unethical that they’re going to outsource perfectly good groundhog jobs to robots. Also, disturbing that someone might build an army of robot groundhogs. Think of the uprising. It’ll be twice as embarrassing if we’re all killed by robot groundhogs. Seriously.