Bank of America Website Down

By Mark Lorenz on January 29th, 2010

BOA-1 Bank of America’s website has crashed. This wouldn’t be a big deal if they’d have informed their customers, but unfortunately, they’re Bank of America, the worst bank in the world.

So they haven’t offered any sort of explanations, any sort of solutions, any sort of fix for the problem. They’re just going to have their customers hanging at the end of their ropes, after posting a five billion dollar loss, in the middle of a mass movement to move their money out of banks. Seriously, do you need any more of an example as to how much banks hate you and wish to steal your money away? The entire website is down. People can’t bank through the front page. This is basic stuff. They’re probably siphoning off funds as we speak into a shadow account with which they can buy more of your money and Haitian children. That’s how evil banks are.

I think it’s weird people still use the fact that they work for banks as a pick-up line. Literally, I’ve heard stories of people in New York bragging that they work for Goldman Sachs. Which at this point, is like walking up to someone and going, “Oh, so good to meet you. Did you know I eat babies for a living?”

In summation, Bank of America: We Eat Babies For A Living.