J.D. Salinger, the crazy kook who wrote The Catcher in the Rye and probably other things, passed away yesterday at the age of 91. He died of unspecified natural causes, but the man drank his own urine so the word “natural” may not really apply. He was a mystery, and here’s hoping Salinger’s death rounds out this week’s triad of celebrity deaths, which also includes Howard Zinn (made famous by that Good Will Hunting guy) and that freaky small lady from Poltergeist.
Which brings me to my next point. Can we put the last nail in the coffin of angsty little fucks yet? Like most, I enjoyed Catcher when I read it in the 6th grade, but c’mon already. Holden Caulfield was a dick. He was the original useless mope-ster and his example ushered in an era where we encouraged entitled brats to cry about how good they had it. Thanks for paving the way to the wasteland that is youth culture today, Salinger. Now every pimply faced tween shithead has carte blanche to tell his mom to fuck off and throw cold mac n cheese in her face. I for one am sick of kids pretending they feel things harder than any other person in the history of the universe, sick of kids scratching their arms up with razor blades during their nightly cry-gasms, sick of fucking jet-black bangs in peoples faces. That’s right; I hold Salinger accountable for Emo haircuts.
I wish we could somehow restore the go get ‘em ethic of the scrappy little cockney bastard. Imagine an America where nobody aspires to be another rejected douche on Idol, where snot-nosed pukes would feel lucky to work two shifts at the saw mill. So lets retire Caulfield; it’s not like he’s relevant anymore in a world where the best we can hope of any kid is that he successfully graduates ass-clown college and becomes a hipster.
R.I.P. J.D.
(source)


















Comments
Kim
January 28th, 2010 - 2:21:29 PM
You cannot deny the fact that the man was a literary genius, despite your annoying interpretation of his novel.
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chucks
January 28th, 2010 - 3:04:05 PM
lol, self-loathe much?
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max
January 28th, 2010 - 3:54:21 PM
ahh yes, if only today's kids weren't so busy reading books we'd be in such a better place! good post!
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Aysha Manori
January 28th, 2010 - 4:23:36 PM
I love him still
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Brian
January 28th, 2010 - 7:13:41 PM
ah, the internet, where even bitter, self absorbed writers like Adam Church can get on their high horse and oversimplify to a disgusting degree the problems with America's youth. Along with blaming those problems on a book that most of those kids probably haven't read.
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Anonymous
January 28th, 2010 - 8:36:58 PM
you're a fool.
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Jesus
January 29th, 2010 - 3:49:44 AM
Beautifully said, Max and Brian. I mean seriously speaking Adam, if somebody's death can trigger such hatred then I think you may be the one in need of a psychological therapist. I have numbers to a few if you would like to contact me to retrieve them.. All due respects, RIP J.D. Salinger
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Kim
January 29th, 2010 - 4:00:43 AM
Yes. And also I would like to point out that this book has saved a number of lives amongst the youth of Americans because it gave them something to relate to at their age, it reached out to them and told them that they weren't alone in the ways they think, the ways they behave. Perhaps some of those living today would not be here if it weren't for that book, so masterly narrated from an honest adolescent's point of view, explaining to an entire generation (and the following) how these early stages of the cycle work. This sort of message is crucial during those fragile, gentle years of existence, so it would be wise to not take these issues lightly, Mr. Church.
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follybud
January 29th, 2010 - 5:02:17 AM
Church is an idiot ... Zinn was made famous bt Good Will Hunting ...?
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Adam Church
January 29th, 2010 - 5:25:58 AM
Man, the next time I feel like being sarcastic on the internet I will make sure to clear it will you guys first. Thanks for putting me in my place, regardless! ;)
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Winklemonster
January 29th, 2010 - 3:04:25 PM
Iv'e never read any of his stuff.I'd like to.However mr. Church's hypothosis is right on the money.Teenage crap is just that.Wait untill you get older then reality of life really kicks in.We all pull through in the end.
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kyle
January 30th, 2010 - 6:04:47 AM
While I feel Mr. Church's language was both crude and harsh, I have to agree with his hypothesis that Mr. Salinger's book, along with several others, helped to create a generation of entitled brats and princesses. As a middle-ager, I am tired of that attitude among the young. The whiny selfish attitude is worse now as we have become more shallow and material.
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Trudy Kretschmer
January 30th, 2010 - 2:22:38 PM
I loved Salinger and my favorite book was actually Franny and Zooey. The Glass family was classic and priceless. The characters haunt me still. Holden Caulfield's voice was that of teenager who was going through a slow motion nervious breakdown. To blame Salinger for the Emo kids, the whine-athons of today's youth does not take into account corporate America's victory over American values. We are at a place where we finally value fame, money, glamour more than hard work, guts, determination and moral virtue. Holden Caulfield was the canary in the coal mine; observing the insidiousnous of just such a culture that Church is complaining about. Today's values ARE PHONEY, which is what Caulfield took umbrage with. Victorious is the Marketing tech and Corporate values which took us from a manufacturing, hard working citizens to "consumers". Ever notice how the American citizens are no longer called "citizens" as in "citizen confidience"? No we are now described as "consumers" as that is what we've become. Consumerism has SUCH a shallow pay-off emotionally and psychologically, is it any wonder today's youth are disaffected??
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kyle
January 30th, 2010 - 4:05:27 PM
Maybe our youth won't have much time to obsess about themselves much anymore. The stock market crash, the country's depression and lack of jobs are making today's young college graduates wake up from their spoiled youthfulness. They have to get out there and work to find anything they can to pay their bills. Maybe they are also adjusting their values and finding out what they can live without - what is really important in their lives. Maybe our shallow phase will soon come to an end. Maybe our country's economic problem's will actually do us some good in the long run....
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